thedadblog

Kids are more capable than we give them credit for.

If you can master this little secret, you will be heralded as an amazing parent.

It is no small part, a huge important thing that we’ve used to make our kids stand out in a few remarkable ways.

And of course… Again… It is down to my wife’s no nonsense belief in kids. And her excellent intuition on child rearing.

It comes down to expecting more from kids.

Society tells us so many stories about life, and they become our inner stories. Things we take to be true, but are not necessarily.

In your home, if you have the privilege (really?) of being at home with them from birth, you can create the reality.

It is your world. Make it how you want it.

And fuck the rest of the world.

Take, for example, this cute little book called Little Pea. In which a pea is forced to eat candy »blech« in order to get the privilege of eating vegetables.

Well guess what the real message of the book is? Kids need to eat yucky vegetables in order to get dessert.

Fuck Little Pea.

Make your own world, with your own rules, and block out everything else for as long as you can.

Here are some things that amaze other people about our children:

» They walk long distances (like more than 2 miles) up mountains, without being carried (at age 2).

» They eat vegetables.

» They eat REAL food.

» They talk to adults.

» They eat spicy food.

» They have independent activity time every day.

» They take a “polite no” for an answer

And what is the great secret? There is none. We just opted out of the false narratives from birth.

Or actually before birth. My wife was eating spicy vegetables all during pregnancy, while breastfeeding (guess what, the tastes come through the milk!) and our kids first foods included spicy Thai chicken soup.

You don’t have total control for long, so take advantage of it. Eventually, friends, school, media will start giving your kid ideas.

Yes it is true that when you have more than one kid, ideas trickle in from the older ones down. Which might explain why my three year olds say fuck. Yes. We’ll blame the 10 year old. I don’t cuss.

But there is a tiny little bit of good news for those you with growing broods. It’s a lesson taken from the Montessori classroom with 3 grade levels all commingled in one class. Once the culture is set, the new kids fall in line. The first graders come in and see second and third graders unrolling mats, and so they accept it as just what you do.

So for us, having done the hard work with the first kids, watching the twins follow along without pushing back has been a bit of sweet reward.

If only they would all stop their goddam cussing.